The blog formerly known as "Angus Nicolson - an incredulous eye on the isles" this was the blog of an ordinary, boring, former Councillor in the Western Isles of Scotland.
Angus is taking a sabbatical to be with his young family
Debate strengthens democracy, except inside the SNP, as he has discovered. If you want balance then get some scales. This is opinion - our opinion.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Caption contest
At the suggestion of the photographer who took this snap earlier today, let's have a caption contest.
The bet was on; the pairs were at the starting line; contestants checked their leg-ties for the last time. If Jack and Angus won the three-legged race, they could have their windfarms; if they lost to Angus MacNeil and Alastair Allen: a referendum instead.
As the Calvinistic minister launched into his fourth hour of the blessing of the turbines, the audience were finding it increasingly hard to stay awake.
Jack: (Pulls out list and reads down it) "Let's see; 10K for a baron, 20K for a duke, 50K for a knighthood. Just call it, dunno, 'services to windfarms'. Whichever one you pick, don't tell MacNeil!"
"Do you think the gimp mask and scrotom chains will complement my First Ministers Chains of Office?" Jack and Angus have their first furtive perusal of the new Anne McSummers catalogue.
"15, 17, 18p. Nope, that's all I've got. Should be enough." Jack is in for a bit of a shock when he goes to buy a ticket for the Calmac ferry home after the convention.
Braving the taunts and abuse from the fundamentalists, the groom and groom entered Stornoway registry office for the first local civil partnership ceremony.
Angus: "Erm, did you leave the house in a hurry this morning?" Jack realises, to his growing horror, that he's having a "Donald where's your troosers" moment.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours..."
ReplyDelete"Is that a wind turbine in your pocket or are you just pleased to meet me?"
ReplyDeletei am glad to see that machaseo has changed his mind about the size of the wind turbines...
ReplyDeleteIt is as Bart says "in any pair of Siamese Twins, there is always an evil one!"
ReplyDeleteGood-guy, good-guy wank, wank,or
ReplyDeleteGonnae no dae that?
Tws Cheery.
"We are the cheeky boys, you are the cheeky girls..."
ReplyDelete(Standing over a large hole outside the Clachan bar)
ReplyDeleteAngus: "Yes, First Minister, that's the entrance to the Hebrides / mainland tunnel link."
Jack: "Looks a bit steep."
"That's me and the family on holiday last year."
ReplyDeleteThe bet was on; the pairs were at the starting line; contestants checked their leg-ties for the last time. If Jack and Angus won the three-legged race, they could have their windfarms; if they lost to Angus MacNeil and Alastair Allen: a referendum instead.
ReplyDeleteAngus: "Evens? Put me down for a fiver on Alasdair Morrison."
ReplyDeleteAs the Calvinistic minister launched into his fourth hour of the blessing of the turbines, the audience were finding it increasingly hard to stay awake.
ReplyDeleteJack: "Angus MacNeil is already in my little black book.
ReplyDeleteBoth - "That's agreed: when I become First Minister, you can be my deputy."
ReplyDeleteJack: "I think I've just put my jackboot* into something nasty."
ReplyDeleteAngus: "Don't worry, your highness, it's just an MWT protestor. It'll scrape right off."
(* = no pun intended)
Angus: "Psssst. How much for a honour, mate?"
ReplyDeleteJack: (Pulls out list and reads down it) "Let's see; 10K for a baron, 20K for a duke, 50K for a knighthood. Just call it, dunno, 'services to windfarms'. Whichever one you pick, don't tell MacNeil!"
"I'm too sexy for this windfarm..."
ReplyDeleteWhen Right Said Fred reformed, fans of the original line-up suspected that radical changes had occured in the group...
"Nicole?" "Papa!"
ReplyDeleteAngus: "I think my left hand has got stuck between two pillows."
ReplyDeleteJack: "Those aren't pillows."
Jack: "I'm constantly amazed at the contents of a dirty nappy"
ReplyDeleteAngus: "That's not the sniffer dog at your crotch, it's just Alasdair Morrison showing his appreciation."
ReplyDelete"See, you can get porn on your Blackberry"
ReplyDelete"CAMERON U R A TSSR" "Hey, yes, you are right, I could really get into this text messaging stuff..."
ReplyDeleteAngus: "Erm, Jack, urinating in a public place is illegal."
ReplyDeleteJack: "I'm the First Emperor of Scotland, this is my domain, I can take a slash wherever I want."
"They were right; peat and snow ARE similar. See: I can write my name in this too."
ReplyDeleteWell Jack - if you push the B button, Super Mario can jump
ReplyDeleteLaurel and Hardy: the twilight years.
ReplyDeleteAn off-camera shot of Jack and Victor, the doddering old pensioners, filming on location for the next series of Still Game.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/this-little-piggys-just-weird/2007/03/07/1173166769353.html
ReplyDeleteIs this the same picture???
"I'll have the prawn crackers to start ...."
ReplyDeleteAngus: "Nope, no accurate reporting on this page either."
ReplyDeleteJack: "Well, turn over to the next page then. Am sure we'll find one correct story in the West Highland Free Press if we look hard enough."
"Do you think the gimp mask and scrotom chains will complement my First Ministers Chains of Office?" Jack and Angus have their first furtive perusal of the new Anne McSummers catalogue.
ReplyDelete"15 - no. 31 - no. 9 - no. 14 - heck, not that one either."
ReplyDeleteThe attempt to win back all of the BCCI losses by spending this years Comhairle revenue on lottery tickets was doomed to failure.
"15, 17, 18p. Nope, that's all I've got. Should be enough." Jack is in for a bit of a shock when he goes to buy a ticket for the Calmac ferry home after the convention.
ReplyDeleteThis year's pantomime is obviously going to be a success, as the ugly sisters make-up is so very scary.
ReplyDeleteBraving the taunts and abuse from the fundamentalists, the groom and groom entered Stornoway registry office for the first local civil partnership ceremony.
ReplyDeleteAngus: "Erm, did you leave the house in a hurry this morning?" Jack realises, to his growing horror, that he's having a "Donald where's your troosers" moment.
ReplyDeleteAngus, "You've had a Brazilian!"
ReplyDeleteJack, "I thought we agreed not to talk about my private life."
Do you reckon that dog turd will compost?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.smh.com.au/news/unusual-tales/this-little-piggys-just-weird/2007/03/07/1173166769353.html
ReplyDeleteTwo of a kind?????
"Jesus is coming - quick, look busy!"
ReplyDeleteI think it's the Marac en Croute followed by Guga Shavings in a Veloute of Carageeen for me with a half bottle of the Cremola Foam 92
ReplyDeleteanonymous 4.03pm is being very generous assuming that you are both going to give the money away!
ReplyDeleteAnother big brown envelope backhander from a poor Islander................BAN ALL WINDMILLS IN BERNERAY ..UP YOURS.
ReplyDeletemines bigger than yours
ReplyDeleteIsn't it time we listened to the electorate and stopped lying on national TV?
ReplyDeleteNah, dont be silly