The blog formerly known as "Angus Nicolson - an incredulous eye on the isles" this was the blog of an ordinary, boring, former Councillor in the Western Isles of Scotland.
Angus is taking a sabbatical to be with his young family
Debate strengthens democracy, except inside the SNP, as he has discovered. If you want balance then get some scales. This is opinion - our opinion.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Caption contest
Mr M says, "When I feel my expenses running low I like nothing better than to recharge my lifestyle to you, the taxpayer."
Toblerone, out on its own Made with triangular almonds from triangular trees And triangular honey from triangular bees So, oh Mr Taxpayer please Pay for my Toblerone
New Labour/Lib Dem/SNP MP's, with their home improvements and their little property empires, use the expenses system to get away from the working classes as fast as they possibly can.
Tory MP's with their moats and country homes and porticoes (whatever the hell they are) have already got away from the working classes as fast as they possibly could and now use their expenses to shore up the defences.
I'm surprised nobody has claimed for landmines and barbed-wire fences.
Hey Mr Toblerone Man Bring white wine to me And a bunk for me to sleep And some vodka to help take my pain away Hey Mr Toblerone Man Won't you fix my old plumbing And a fat cheque for the wife And my mortgage and conveying fees
The scene - the house of commons full of scummy dirty corrupt politicans, then one by one (starting with the politicians with the highest expenses claims first) involuntarily getting hurled out through the windows into the Thames along with kitkats, toblerones, pornos, hurlting out leaving a desolate but pristine house. The camera pans in and the caption
Cut the Toblerone into pieces and leave to marinate in the vodka overnight. The next morning tip the toblerone and vodka into a pan and gently warm over a low heat until the toblerone has melted. Then stir and add a couple of tablespoons of cream taking care not to let the mixture boil. Allow to cool and then pour it into cocktail glasses and garnish with a sprig of mint. Very nice with amaretti biscuits or a Danish pastry.
The claim for a bar of toblerone at 2 quid pales into insignificance compared to the 18.8grand that yourman Brown claimed for food. How did he have time to work. Maybe if he had spent less time eating at our expense the country would not be in the shit state Labour has reduced it to
Thank goodness that there is someone with common sense such as 6.24am reading this blog. So what if he claimed for a toblerone I don't suppose any of you guys out there have ever inadvertantly claimed for something which obviously is not elegible. Then again how many of you lot claim every week for doing bugger all apart from picking up your government handout every week.
8:24 You miss the point. As AM chose to appoint himself as arbitter of the public morals when he made the complaints against the Labour party, he should have ensured that he himself was squeaky clean. People in glass houses etc. Has he claimed for any pet(ting) cleaning?
He only claimed over £60000 of our moneyAs that was tax-free expenses, us mere mortals would have to earn over £100,000 extra on the top line to have that sort of income.
He's managed to buy himself a flat in London, with interest paid by the taxpayer whilst owning 4 other properties.
Very nice too.
So how many people in this country are struggling to pay their own mortgages due to redundancy etc
This is not a party political issue. They are mostly all at fault including Angus B MacNeil and they should all be replaced by people who are passionate about the job rather than greedy.
I know our MP has had his moments of passion but it wasn't about the job.
The sad thing is, that even if he isn't re-elected, he will be set up for life with his MPs pension.
Not bad for 4/5 years of doing naf all apart from supporting the Islands in Orkney.
Oliver Cromwell 1653, to MPs from the steps of the Houses of Parliament.
"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonoured by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.
Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?
Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone!
So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors.
Toblerone, out on its own
ReplyDeleteMade with triangular almonds from triangular trees
And triangular honey from triangular bees
So, oh Mr Taxpayer please
Pay for my Toblerone
There`s vodka and then there`s a Ripoff
ReplyDeleteAt least I kept my jacket on for the room service.
ReplyDeleteNew Labour/Lib Dem/SNP MP's, with their home improvements and their little property empires, use the expenses system to get away from the working classes as fast as they possibly can.
ReplyDeleteTory MP's with their moats and country homes and porticoes (whatever the hell they are) have already got away from the working classes as fast as they possibly could and now use their expenses to shore up the defences.
I'm surprised nobody has claimed for landmines and barbed-wire fences.
All together now!
ReplyDeleteHey Mr Toblerone Man
Bring white wine to me
And a bunk for me to sleep
And some vodka to help take my pain away
Hey Mr Toblerone Man
Won't you fix my old plumbing
And a fat cheque for the wife
And my mortgage and conveying fees
Angus
ReplyDeleteTime for a poll on a General Election.
See what Mick Jagger did with Mars bars well ABM does with Toblerone
ReplyDelete"Is that a Toberlone in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?"
ReplyDeleteHey little girl, would you like some Toblerone?
ReplyDeleteOh alright then I'll get you a vodka and red bull too.....
The toblerone matches his Swiss bonk account!
ReplyDeleteGo on darling, have another, it's on the taxpayer.
ReplyDeleteHello miss, fancy something hard, long and tasty?
ReplyDeleteThe new Smrinoff ad -
ReplyDeleteThe scene - the house of commons full of scummy dirty corrupt politicans, then one by one (starting with the politicians with the highest expenses claims first) involuntarily getting hurled out through the windows into the Thames along with kitkats, toblerones, pornos, hurlting out leaving a desolate but pristine house. The camera pans in and the caption
- Extraordinary Purification! -
8 odd looking lumps joined at the hip and a bottle of Vodka?
ReplyDeleteA meeting room at Comhairle nan Eilean Siar?
Cut the Toblerone into pieces and leave to marinate in the vodka overnight.
ReplyDeleteThe next morning tip the toblerone and vodka into a pan and gently warm over a low heat until the toblerone has melted. Then stir and add a couple of tablespoons of cream taking care not to let the mixture boil. Allow to cool and then pour it into cocktail glasses and garnish with a sprig of mint. Very nice with amaretti biscuits or a Danish pastry.
She is number one on the gravy train.
ReplyDeleteThe claim for a bar of toblerone at 2 quid pales into insignificance compared to the 18.8grand that yourman Brown claimed for food. How did he have time to work. Maybe if he had spent less time eating at our expense the country would not be in the shit state Labour has reduced it to
ReplyDeleteThank goodness that there is someone with common sense such as 6.24am reading this blog.
ReplyDeleteSo what if he claimed for a toblerone I don't suppose any of you guys out there have ever inadvertantly claimed for something which obviously is not elegible. Then again how many of you lot claim every week for doing bugger all apart from picking up your government handout every week.
Ha Ha Bonking Brendans mates are taking the bait. Be it a penny or a £100 you steal, in the eyes of the law it is the same.
ReplyDeleteHe only claimed over £60000 of our money for one of his five houses. With all these houses he should have been called Angus "Barratt" Macneil.
Oh and by the way 6.24 did Salmond not claim over £800 for food while the parliament was closed.
Crooks every one of them.
8:24 You miss the point. As AM chose to appoint himself as arbitter of the public morals when he made the complaints against the Labour party, he should have ensured that he himself was squeaky clean. People in glass houses etc. Has he claimed for any pet(ting) cleaning?
ReplyDeleteHe only claimed over £60000 of our moneyAs that was tax-free expenses, us mere mortals would have to earn over £100,000 extra on the top line to have that sort of income.
ReplyDeleteHe's managed to buy himself a flat in London, with interest paid by the taxpayer whilst owning 4 other properties.
ReplyDeleteVery nice too.
So how many people in this country are struggling to pay their own mortgages due to redundancy etc
This is not a party political issue. They are mostly all at fault including Angus B MacNeil and they should all be replaced by people who are passionate about the job rather than greedy.
I know our MP has had his moments of passion but it wasn't about the job.
The sad thing is, that even if he isn't re-elected, he will be set up for life with his MPs pension.
Not bad for 4/5 years of doing naf all apart from supporting the Islands in Orkney.
Downlaod to your ipod....
ReplyDeleteMP3 in a bed scandal
Oliver Cromwell 1653, to MPs from the steps of the Houses of Parliament.
ReplyDelete"It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonoured by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.
Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter'd your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?
Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil'd this sacred place, and turn'd the Lord's temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress'd, are yourselves gone!
So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors.
In the name of God, go!"