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The truths they don't want you to read....

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Audit Scotland and the CPP

"The Community Planning Partnership lacks leadership and direction."


Anonymous said...

This allegation is a dreadful slur on community planning in South Uist, and nothing less than a full retraction and complete apology will persuade me from unleashing the might of no less a person than the honorable - and esteemed - Sir Crispin Agnew; no less indeed!

I shall, forthwith, repair to my favourite haunt in the court of session with ol' Crispy while damages upon my most noble, virtuous, and upstanding moral character are translated into a suitably eye watering sum.

Have you no thought at all of the hard work and late nights that are passed at a feverish pitch by the community leaders down here at the Storas office? Not to mention the overtime and expenses logged up by those magnificent stalwarts at HIE; and not forgetting the lashings of sweat shed by our friends in the development department of the Comhairle.

For a mere £975,000 (still counting) we have managed to obtain planning consent for the White Elephant in Lochboisdale. Fortunately we also managed to avoid -almost completely - any of this paltry sum being retained on the island. After all, one cannot expect any of the natives to be capable of preparing reports, let alone be qualified engineers, although I am led to believe that one or two of them can now read and, curiously, write.

However, even the current residents sheltering under the boat in Edinburgh will doff their hats at our latest triumph! - the awarding of the contract for the access road to the Lochcarnan wind turbines (proposed) to erm... R J Macleods.

Naturally, as leader of the local community company I have to warn you that any hint that this is not the best way in which to retain a local work force, support local civil engineering companies, and retain
income from contracts within the community will see the deployment of troops, complete with rubber bullets, tear gas, and water canon. Those middle eastern chappies know a thing or two about the awarding of contracts, and keeping the oiks in their place.

Must dash, the phone is ringing and I'll bet my airmiles that it is ol' Crispy already looking for his fee, bless him.

Anonymous said...

I think this comment as a few typos! Shouldnt it read "The Comhairle lacks ......"

Anonymous said...

Crusty of Lochnagar of outhouse infamey as known in Parliament House, more usually less under a boat than under the table.

Esteemed - case possible,
Steaming - case proven.

Anonymous said...

Proper Community Planing up here in the Southern Islands means that our Chairman Maw stops using his old hatchet man of Lochnagar if anyone stands up to his greedy plans. Chairman Maw has a motto- All for Me. I have it on good authority that Chairman Maw is still doing his own big wind turbines.
Proper community planing up here in Uist is where Chairman Maw is made to sit down with his cousin. The awkward one. Get them to share out with everyone so that we all get a share of the money from the wind power. A good few thousand is more than I make on a lot of hard work crofting.

Anonymous said...

I did notice at a recent meeting that the Storas Directors had gone native when talking to the crofters. South was at the top of map.

Perhaps its all a case of turning the world upside down or perhaps showning that their maps can be up South.

Anonymous said...

Re above.
Im opening a book if this happens.
Very short odds at 9/1 OddsOn for this bet but For getting Chairman Maw and the Awkward One in the same room The bet is The Chairman getting one on the nose along with pair of panda peepers and taking a fall inside the minute.
He can then go to the races as Chairman MawMaw. Better I suppose than going as 'Im the Chairman of.........