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The truths they don't want you to read....

Saturday, February 26, 2011


It is deeply, deeply, reassuring to know that the Scottish Government is ready to help Scots trapped in the Libyan crisis.

I didn't realise that we still had any Libyan prisoners left to give away trade.

Perhaps Salmond plans to send a CalMac ferry to rescue those trapped.  A minimum RET charge will apply, at a rate of £100 per mile plus £40 per foot of luggage.  Assuming the Muirneag can manage to pass the Arnish lighthouse by July, without turning back.

Rumour has it that retired helicopter winchman, Chris Murray, has been recruited by a crack team of the SSAS (Scottish SAS) under the direction of the First Minister to fly in supplies to trapped Scots.  He will be dropping haggis, Barley's marags, guga casserole and Irn Bru from a black ops helicopter.  The supplies have been chosen to stop the *nglish trying to steal the supplies, although rogue Welsh elements have threatened to eat Chris and the helicopter.

Practice runs are taking place over the Saharan dunes at Luskentyre as we speak...


Anonymous said...

I think your vague attempt at humour is ill conconceived, thoroughly distasteful and shows an breathtaking ignorance of the terrifying and uncertain plight of foreigners, maybe even Lewis people, who are still trapped in Libya. Whatever you think of the attempts made by the Scottish Parliament to bring them home, at least they're doing their utmost in very complex and challenging circumstances. Please give some credit when and where its due.

Anonymous said...

Provided the Comhairle aren't involved in the tendering process there should be some chance that the whole plan won't be fecked up.

It is anticipated though that the opposition parties are rallying together to oppose the plan to save the trapped scots on account of it being put forward by the SNP and, who knows, if it succeeds they might get re-elected.

A Labour spokesperson says: "The SNP have yet again got a plan out there before we were ready, and although we haven't had time to look at it, we think it's inapproriate at this time to try to save anyone and we should keep pouring money down a plug whole to try to stop the ferry sinking."

A Lib Dem Spokesperson says: "We in the Conservative party don't agree that this is a viable plan as we have already scrapped all the ferries 10 years before a new super ferry will be kinda built, and we hate the SNP cause they've more seats than us in Holyrude and generally the Scots don't like us anymore".

A Conservative Spokeperson says: " I agree with my Cons.. eh.. Lib Dem colleague and haven't anything new to add, oh apart from - there only Scots".

A wee boy in Sauchiehall Street says:"Keep the comhairle well out of it, send in the Incredibles".

Anonymous said...


Stornoway Car Parkers said...

To 10.01 "there only Scots", did you mean "they're only Scots?"

Anonymous said...

Is Manford demanding a PSO on the Castlebay- Tripoli route (via Mallaig), but first a sham of competitive tendering before giving the job to Souter?