Enlgish as she is wrote
From the online Gazette:
Revised
Following the first day's action on August 20 there were talks in Edinburgh between the employers and the trade unions. The employers made a revised offer of 2.5% for one year only – the previous offer was for 2.5% for a three-year period.
During the last day of strike action Comhairle services throughout the islands were severely disrupted, with the Local Authority's offices in Stornoway and Balivanich closed to the public, and only limited services available in Tarbert and Castlebay.
Stornoway Library and Ionad Spors Leodhais were closed and it is anticipated that the education service*, refuse collection and Comhairle bus services throughout the islands will be seriously disrupted by next week's action.
* should this read "schools"?
Or have I just been reading "Eats, shoots and leaves" too thoroughly?
Now I admit to not being the finest writer, and sometimes mangling my English, but is the above not somewhat incorrect. I have identified some errors in the writing, but I am sure that others can correct even more errors in syntax, grammar and punctuation.More disruption is on the cards for Western Isles Council services with the news that unions: Unison, Unite and GMB plan further industrial action on September 24.
Following the first day's action on August 20 there were talks in Edinburgh between the employers and the trade unions. The employers made a revised offer of 2.5% for one year only – the previous offer was for 2.5% for a three-year period.
During the last day of strike action Comhairle services throughout the islands were severely disrupted with the Local Authority's offices in Stornoway and Balivanich closed to the public and only limited services available in Tarbert and Castlebay.
Stornoway Library and Ionad Spors Leodhais were closed and it is anticipated that the Education Service, Refuse Collection and Bus Services throughout the islands will be seriously disrupted by next week's action.
Revised
More disruption is on the cards for Western Isles Council Comhairle nan Eilean Siar services with the news that unions - Unison, Unite and GMB - plan further industrial action on September 24.
Following the first day's action on August 20 there were talks in Edinburgh between the employers and the trade unions. The employers made a revised offer of 2.5% for one year only – the previous offer was for 2.5% for a three-year period.
During the last day of strike action Comhairle services throughout the islands were severely disrupted, with the Local Authority's offices in Stornoway and Balivanich closed to the public, and only limited services available in Tarbert and Castlebay.
Stornoway Library and Ionad Spors Leodhais were closed and it is anticipated that the education service*, refuse collection and Comhairle bus services throughout the islands will be seriously disrupted by next week's action.
* should this read "schools"?
Or have I just been reading "Eats, shoots and leaves" too thoroughly?
2 comments:
Revised (again)
More disruption is on the cards for (a dreadful and unnecessary cliche - suggest “is due at”) Western Isles Council Comhairle nan Eilean Siar (both council names are correct but for pity’s sake stick with chosen one throughout) services with the news that (the) unions - Unison, Unite and GMB - (remove all stupid hyphens) plan further industrial action on September 24.
Following the first day's action on August 20 there were talks in Edinburgh between the employers and the trade unions. The employers made a revised offer of 2.5% for one year only – (remove stupid hyphen and insert full stop). t(T)he previous offer was for 2.5% for a three-year period.
During the last day of strike action C(c)omhairle services throughout the islands were severely disrupted, (remove clumsy comma) with the L(l)ocal A(a)uthority's offices in Stornoway and Balivanich closed to the public, (remove clumsy comma) and only limited services (were) available in Tarbert and Castlebay.
Stornoway Library and Ionad Spors Leodhais were closed and it is anticipated that the education service*, refuse collection and C(c)omhairle bus services throughout the islands will be seriously disrupted by next week's action.
* should this read "schools"? (Of course, but why do so when longer words help fill up the paper).
Or have I just been reading "Eats, shoots and leaves" too thoroughly? (Remove “too” as your reading of it was thorough or it was not. We both may have read Ms Truss’s useful volume but have any Gazette writers?)
NB - Only proper nouns should begin with a capital letter. Contrary to the regrettably common practise of staff in such organisations, the words comhairle and authority are not proper nouns by themselves. They are only proper names when written full out i.e. in the context of Comhairle nan Eilean Siar or Harris Tweed Authority.
Ah but they obviously didn't have anywhere to lift this piece of "news" from and had to pen it themselves. It's difficult when you are run by Noddy & Big Ears.
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