Bad hair day

So Trump gets the go ahead for the development in Aberdeen that has been rushed through the planning process.

Just how many gated housing communities for the excessively wealthy world-class golf resorts can Scotland sustain? The answer seems to be an unlimited number, with plans for another similarly grand scheme to the East of Inverness.

Of course, the hotel and holiday homes will go up first to generate cash flow, and then I suspect that the impact of the global recession will delay construction of the remainder. The golf course will happen, of course, but golfers tell me that the prospects of it ever hosting a major tournament in my lifetime are minuscule with many more long-established courses likely to be well ahead in the running for the Open.

Still, if only every planning application got the level of involvement that this one got. And if only every planning application was dealt with as promptly. And if only we stopped trying to be a low-pay service-based economy, and started making things again.

Dreams, dreams, dreams.

It seems to the public that success in dealing promptly with planning applications correlates with access to the First Minister, and proximity to his constituency, and although I am sure that this is just a coincidence, there is a need to remove this suspicion by ensuring that everyone believes that they are being treated equally.

Caption contest - I couldn't resist.....

The Donald

Whilst others are salivating at the prospect of The Donald arriving in Stornoway for the long overdue and totally manipulative visit to Stornoway (I wonder just how many times it will be mentioned at the Inquiry into the Golf Course planning application?) to show just how much he respects his late mother, I have got the real news.

I'm not waiting for the press conference, no siree, as I have got an exclusive interview with those who are closest to the magnificent genius that is the most bankrupt Lewis dispora.

Over the past two weeks I have been privileged to have had unrestricted access to the quarantine kennels in which the wigs have been kept to allow acclimatisation, prior to The Visit (capital TV) by his Holiness.

Wig 1 & 2 were quite talkative, but wig 3 demanded anonymity from the cage in which it was kept. I have identified the wigs by colour coding them according to their particular shade.

AN: Tell me about how you met The Donald.
W1: He picked me up one night when he was at his lowest, and I showed him how to look young and day-glo again.
W2: We met in Vegas where I was with Cher, but I toned my lifestyle down after meeting him.
W3: He ripped me from a mohair jersey!

AN: Where are you from originally?
W1: Put together will loving care from the off-cuts of celebrities, I was born at the finest wigmaker in Vienna, and stitched with loving care to fit The Donald.
W2: I was born in the deep south of America, where plastic hair meets unreality, and everyone suspends disbelief.
W3: I was born from melted chip fat and cat fur balls, after being hit by lightning.

AN: What will The Donald bring to Lewis?
W1: Love, peace, global understanding, a unique financial ability and the desire to bring world class facilities to Lewis in memory of his mother (details to be worked out over the next 10 years)
W3 (interjecting): F'all
W2: The population will be enhanced just by the presence of The Donald, who will buy the Stornoway Golf Club and turn it into the new location for the Open by next week. Subject ot planning permission.

AN: What do you plan to say to Alex Salmond?
W1: Your Highness. Jobs for your mates; what else do you want?
W2: I bring you greetings from the Emperor. What would you like him to do for you?
W3: Bastard. I'm building up static in this box!

AN: Why should the Government override planning restrictions for your planned Golf Course?
W1: This is The Donald you are asking such a stupid question of.
W2: He is the Donald, and he brings munificence, magnanimity, and an ex super model wife, so why question his motives or his ability to deliver the impossible under impossible circumstances, despite a lack of a track record or financial ability. Do NOT mention the fact that it is a a housing scheme with a golf course attached, rather than the other way around.
W3: Look, we already spent millions buying everyone in the Government, how much more do you want?

AN: What is your message to the people of the Western Isles?
W1: It is lovely to be here in the wonderful island of Lewis and Harris where the late Mrs Trump was born, and somewhere where The Donald and I come regularly every 50 years or so.
W2: I just love your Harres Tweed made from the skin of living sheeps and urinated upon by walking ladies as they go to the proposed Trump mall and casino in Tong where The Donald will personally ensure that they are paid slightly above minimum wage frequently.
W3: F'off, this is a publicity stunt.

As I left, Wig 3 was taken out by Trump Customs Officers and shot and then burnt due to being 'rabid'. After this and last seen he was being offered his own programme on Isles FM.

Trumpton - the informed view

The Local Government and Communities Committee of the Scottish Parliament have examined the entire fiasco surrounding the Donald Trump application for a multi-squillion pound investment in a golf course, gated housing estate and wig factory.

Having read the report in detail, I found myself agreeing with the vast majority of the conclusions which cover the basic common sense issues surrounding any planning application.

The thrust of the committee report, which is quite scathing of all concerned, is that the perception of ones behaviour in dealing with any planning application is vitally important. Being too close to the developer or the objectors, will be perceived to affect ones judgement; whether it actually does or does not.

168. The Committee is very concerned at the disparity between the stated and apparent reasons for the call in and the actual reasons. They are particularly concerned that the Cabinet Secretary failed to explain the actual reasons for the call in his statement of 20th December 2007 or at any time prior to giving evidence to the Committee, nor to recognise that such a disparity might be an issue.¹⁸³

A footnote explains that the three SNP members (including our own Alasdair Allan) dissented from this paragraph. And every other paragraph that hinted or implied any possibility of a wrong decision by anyone in the Government.

171. The Committee is concerned that the unprecedented decision to call in after a refusal can only suggest that Ministers were unhappy with the refusal and this runs the risk of creating an impression of bias by Ministers on the matter – a perception which is not raised by a call in prior to decision, or by an appeal by applicants.¹⁸⁶

Dissent again.

Yet almost every statement by the Committee suggests a mindset that would see a Councillor under investigation from the Standards Commission, and is the kind of (unproven) accusation that had been thrown at the Comhairle over the windfarms decision.

This report is hugely significant, mainly because of its balance in its overall conclusions which were: the decision to call-in was correct, but was badly taken and the interference of the politicians gave a terrible impression on how the process works. A pity about the partisan dissent, but the mindset was clear even before the Committee met.

Team Trump decline to be courteous

So the bewigged ones minions have declined to attend a Government Committee investigating the contentious planning application in Aberdeen.

The Government may not have the power to force them, which is a ludicrous and indefensible situation, and one that would normally have Alex Salmond champing at the bit. Strangely, not this time.

It is imperative that they attend so that the Committee fully understand the circumstances surrounding the application, otherwise the stench of dodgy dealings will never go away. And the sooner the SNP realise that immutable truth the better.

However, I have been sent footage of the Trump executives demonstrating their independence, individuality, and getting into training for their attendance.

Planning permissions

News from Wales on how not to handle planning applications.

Ceredigion Council have been reprimanded for granting approval to applications from Welsh language speakers irrespective of the advice from the planning officers.

The senior planning officer warned that the Council could lose its powers if it continued to breach the regulations by showing bias in favour of Welsh speakers, and he described the manifestation of the bias...

"What's happening is that time and time again we refer to the fact that the applicant is a local Welsh speaker. We have to look at the application, not the applicant."

and he continues

"Whilst the planning system should take account of the needs and interest of the Welsh language, the fact that the applicant is a local, Welsh-speaking person active in the community does not outweigh the environmental harm."

and he rounds of by adding

"Moreover it would be discriminatory to grant permission solely or largely on the grounds that the applicant is Donald Trump."

Or words to that effect.

The Trump inquiry

As the Inquiry by the Local Government and Communities Committee staggers to a stuttering slow and painful death, some interesting and unusual facts to come to light.

Mr Salmond revealed he used his mobile phone to call the government's chief planner, Jim Mackinnon, during a meeting with the Trump Organisation in an Aberdeen hotel, then handed the phone to the US tycoon's right-hand man, George Sorial, so he could set up a meeting with the civil servant. He said he had done nothing wrong because he had attended the meeting in his capacity as MSP for Gordon.

Decidedly strange behaviour. Imagine the outcry if Lewis Wind Power met with our former MSP, Alasdair Morrison, and he placed a call there and then to the Chief Planner to arrange a meeting... (if he had even got through!)... the day before a major decision on the application was taken.

However, the best bit is life imitating art:-

Mr Allan, an SNP MSP, said: "What we have had is a very lame witch-hunt and attempt to nail the first minister, but they have failed to come up with an accusation to put to him, although the issue has been strung out for three weeks.

Or as his motion to the Parliament in December apparently said:-

Alasdair Allan calls on all MSPs, MPs, Councillors, Journalists and members of the public to desist from interfering in the crucial and independent Parliamentary investigation. At this time the making of scurrilous and unfounded allegations by Nicol Stephen and repeated by those who do not know the full facts will only prolong the anguish of those who have been falsely accused by muck-racking journalists reporting the facts. It is crucial that the Committee investigate the crucial documents that are being prepared at the moment and that the crucial decision to clear Mr Salmond is taken objectively and quickly, so that he can move on to ensuring that permission is granted to Mr Tramp.

With friends like this....

Donald Trump speaking about Alex Salmond (my emphasis) about the proposed golf development in Aberdeenshire....

"Alex Salmond and I have virtually never even talked about this job but I know for a fact that he - and anyone else who's representing Scotland, unless they're the enemy - wants billions of pounds to come into Aberdeenshire and Scotland."

"Virtually"? So it was discussed.

"Enemy"? Or as we know them, the other residents of the area.

"Billions"? It was only an unbelievable £1bn in November.

The Government need to find that barge pole, and quick.

Nicol Stephen might have something...

Like many people, I felt that Nicol Stephen may have doing the political thing in his attacks on the Trump decision, and his calls for an investigation into apparent improper behaviour.

Despite the obvious incompetence of Alex Salmond, Aberdeenshire Council, the LibDems on that Council, Chief Planner Jim MacKinnon and the Scottish Government in handling this matter, I was happy to let it run and see where it ended up.

It is obvious that this application as been clutched warmly to the bosom of many of those concerned, instead of being given the due deference one should give to an angry skunk.

Until I read the words of the The Donald's representatives on earth on the BBC website:-

The Trump Organisation said: "The Trump Organisation is dismayed at the political attacks. These attacks are more than misguided, they are malicious, inaccurate and potentially destructive and they threaten to once again endanger a £1bn project which has the overwhelming backing of the north east of Scotland. The politician responsible should cease and desist before real and permanent damage is done."

If you don't now know that Nicol is on to something, you cannot read through the bombastic, bullying, and offensive attitude that oozes from beneath His Self-righteous Wigness.

Go for it Nicol, and find out what he is trying to cover up.

Let's start with the numbers, and some wild guesses:
950 holiday homes @ £100k each = £95m
36 golf villas @ £200k each = £7.2m
2 golf courses @ £2m each = £4m
Infrastructure, say = £5m

All of which equals a mere 11% of the proclaimed £1bn investment, which either means that the staff are on fantastic wages, or there is a lot of bullshit being swallowed by the gullible speculative double-counting.

Trumpted in Trumpton

I have the greatest sympathy with Councillor Martin Ford of Aberdeenshire Council, who was until today the Chair of the Infrastructure Services Committee.

Having had to deal with more than a few contentious planning applications in my time, I know that some decisions are more difficult than others and that there has to be respect between the applicants, the officials and the councillors to allow applications to be properly dealt with.

In this instance, Cllr Ford was faced with an intransigent developer who was trying to force through the plans without (as far as I can see) any concern about discussing and trying to resolve the matters that were causing concern.

And then attempting "take it or leave it" blackmail, instead of using the normal appeals process should they be unsuccessful.

However, Aberdeenshire should have removed the delegation from this matter, given the contentious nature of the matter, and referred the decision of the committee to the full Council for them to come to a view.

That's all immaterial now, as the Government have called it in - in great haste and under mysterious circumstances - leaving an unpleasant taste in the mouth for how this has been handled at every level.

The Committee that I Chaired refused tricky applications in the past, and allowed applicants to resubmit revised applications with no fee, which resulted in better plans being presented, and focused the minds of developers (and officials!) on resolving the problems. Some applications were deferred or withdrawn more than once before the majority gave approval.

However, it is with incredulity that I read the comments from my an old friend:
Leader of the SNP group on Aberdeenshire Council, Joanna Strathdee, said: "Aberdeenshire Council needs to restore the confidence of the business and wider community in the planning process and show the world that North East Scotland really is open for business and serious about inward investment."

What this is telling rich developers is that they can make unreasonable demands from the system - if they can meet with leading politicians - and then the Council will descend into an orgy of self-destruction and recrimination over their own inept mishandling of the situation.

Demonstrating spectacular ambivalence over the seriousness of the matter, the votes were:

• 26 for removal
• 10 against removal
• 29 abstentions
• 3 absent

Cynics like me will be barely able to wait to see the political make-up of the votes.

If anything, I would say that today's decision demonstrates the inability of Aberdeenshire Council to manage it's own affairs.

Trumpton

The problem with being 'holier than thou' is that if you aren't.....

The news that Alex Salmond met with the Trump representatives to discuss the planning application the day before the call-in decision was made is absolutely loaded with the possibility for innuendo, suspicion and public disgust.

As the mere Chair of the Planning Committee for four years I was scrupulous about meeting with and discussion planning applications with either the applicant or any objectors, and I tried to instil this ethos into the other members.

I can recall having a shouting match over the phone with a constituent who was trying to discuss an application that was coming to the next meeting (I forget if he was the applicant or objector) and I told him that I couldn't discuss the matter over the phone, and he would either have to write or meet with me with others present.

I recall a fellow Councillor meeting with objectors and the applicants to try to amend a planning proposal and then him actively campaigning for the revised proposal. Thankfully, he didn't attend the Committee to discuss the issue.

One only has to look at the inability of Councillors in the NW of Lewis to discuss the very contentious wind farm proposals before they were considered to realise just how careful you have to be.

Alex Salmond has acted in a manner that is obviously perceived to be improper, and that perception will not go away. If he wanted to appear squeeky clean, he should have met the Trump team a long time before (oops, he did, in New York) or AFTER the call-in had been announced.

This is a gross and disgraceful error, and leads one straight to the conclusion that money talks.

Just for the record, I think The Donald is committed to making big money, not committed to Scotland (or Ireland), and not committed to anything other than his own vanity. And, if the scheme is so important, then the chancers Government should have called it in before the Council came to a view.