The Donald

Whilst others are salivating at the prospect of The Donald arriving in Stornoway for the long overdue and totally manipulative visit to Stornoway (I wonder just how many times it will be mentioned at the Inquiry into the Golf Course planning application?) to show just how much he respects his late mother, I have got the real news.

I'm not waiting for the press conference, no siree, as I have got an exclusive interview with those who are closest to the magnificent genius that is the most bankrupt Lewis dispora.

Over the past two weeks I have been privileged to have had unrestricted access to the quarantine kennels in which the wigs have been kept to allow acclimatisation, prior to The Visit (capital TV) by his Holiness.

Wig 1 & 2 were quite talkative, but wig 3 demanded anonymity from the cage in which it was kept. I have identified the wigs by colour coding them according to their particular shade.

AN: Tell me about how you met The Donald.
W1: He picked me up one night when he was at his lowest, and I showed him how to look young and day-glo again.
W2: We met in Vegas where I was with Cher, but I toned my lifestyle down after meeting him.
W3: He ripped me from a mohair jersey!

AN: Where are you from originally?
W1: Put together will loving care from the off-cuts of celebrities, I was born at the finest wigmaker in Vienna, and stitched with loving care to fit The Donald.
W2: I was born in the deep south of America, where plastic hair meets unreality, and everyone suspends disbelief.
W3: I was born from melted chip fat and cat fur balls, after being hit by lightning.

AN: What will The Donald bring to Lewis?
W1: Love, peace, global understanding, a unique financial ability and the desire to bring world class facilities to Lewis in memory of his mother (details to be worked out over the next 10 years)
W3 (interjecting): F'all
W2: The population will be enhanced just by the presence of The Donald, who will buy the Stornoway Golf Club and turn it into the new location for the Open by next week. Subject ot planning permission.

AN: What do you plan to say to Alex Salmond?
W1: Your Highness. Jobs for your mates; what else do you want?
W2: I bring you greetings from the Emperor. What would you like him to do for you?
W3: Bastard. I'm building up static in this box!

AN: Why should the Government override planning restrictions for your planned Golf Course?
W1: This is The Donald you are asking such a stupid question of.
W2: He is the Donald, and he brings munificence, magnanimity, and an ex super model wife, so why question his motives or his ability to deliver the impossible under impossible circumstances, despite a lack of a track record or financial ability. Do NOT mention the fact that it is a a housing scheme with a golf course attached, rather than the other way around.
W3: Look, we already spent millions buying everyone in the Government, how much more do you want?

AN: What is your message to the people of the Western Isles?
W1: It is lovely to be here in the wonderful island of Lewis and Harris where the late Mrs Trump was born, and somewhere where The Donald and I come regularly every 50 years or so.
W2: I just love your Harres Tweed made from the skin of living sheeps and urinated upon by walking ladies as they go to the proposed Trump mall and casino in Tong where The Donald will personally ensure that they are paid slightly above minimum wage frequently.
W3: F'off, this is a publicity stunt.

As I left, Wig 3 was taken out by Trump Customs Officers and shot and then burnt due to being 'rabid'. After this and last seen he was being offered his own programme on Isles FM.

How to win friends and influence people

A very reliable source tells me that after my last most recent appearance on Isles FM the local SNP started complaining to the directors of Isles FM Ltd about 'bias' and threatened to get businesses to pull their advertising if Isles FM continued to allow me to appear without them having the right of reply.

Can anyone confirm or refute this claim?



Update: Isles FM would like to make it clear that there was no direct threat of the removal of advertising, but that the possibility of the loss of advertising revenue was discussed.

It would therefore appear that I was misinformed about any direct threats by any party.

Isles FM

I did the early morning political punter thing on Isles FM on Monday morning in the company of Callum Ian MacMillan, and overseen by Iain X MacIver, discussing the major political events over the past few months.

We insulted Ming Campbell and the LibDems.

Abused the Tories over their English Grand Committee scheme (I was for as it was the thin end of the wedge for Scottish Independence; Callum Ian was against as it was the thin end of the wedge for Scottish Independence).

We had a debate about Gordon Brown's (non-)performance in the House of Commons.

Then when the chat turned to RET, my compadre tried to claim that the SNP should have delivered on RET by now. I robustly pointed out that the delay was largely caused by the Labour Party forcing the tendering exercise on CalMac, and that given the legal and practical difficulties no-one could have delivered by this point. (That's not to say that a clear, unambiguous timetable for delivery is conspicuously absent, and I have my cynical doubts about the 'promise'). I made a point of praising Cllr Donald Manford, SNP Group Leader on the Comhairle for his successes to date.

I highlighted my concern about the absence of any statement on the Air Discount Scheme proceeding - and the outcome of my FoI request will appear here soon.

Finally, the discussion turned to my DPA request from the SNP as featured elsewhere on this blog.

Today, despite admitting that they hadn't heard the broadcast, Alan Masterton, the Parliamentary Assistant to the MSP was on the phone to Isles FM complaining that assorted supporters had heard the broadcast and apparently were upset by the lack of balance. For which read, they were embarrassed by the further revelations that the DPA request has brought out, and they don't want me on the airwaves again. Clearly ignorance places no restrictions on the desire to complain.

Looks like another attempt to gag me....what are they scared of???

Isles FM

Callum Iain MacMillan (right, in the tartan pants and jacket) and I did a broadcast for Isles FM, tonight discussing the future of politics and Politics in the Western Isles.

Once again I was gagged - or possibly the wrong tape of the 'live' interview was pushed into the machine - but Callum Iain spoke about nothing except the redevelopment of the Lews Castle (in background), and I never managed to get an word in edgeways.

Perhaps it will be 'repeated' on Monday morning.

'Pets Corner', which was broadcast at 5:15pm, just ahead of Iain X Paxman, included the intriguing lost pets of "A Co-op bag in the Religious bookshop", and, "Five Highland cattle in Achmore". Pray they never meet and cross-breed.

Not gagged, just discrete

I didn't appear on the Isles FM Hustings programme last night for reasons of discretion.

I was running late - due to work commitments - and arrived at the Castle Grounds as the introductory speeches had finished. I then heard Angus Graham's question, and then my name being bandied about, and decided that whatever I was going to say could appear to be bitterness, or sticking the knife in, so I turned about and went home.

Just as well, as when I and my family get praised by my old bosom buddy Angus Graham, then I wouldn't have been able to keep my face straight. Alasdair Morrison also quoted my analysis of the impact of a national Local Income Tax (sic) on the Western Isles, and I noted that no-one quibbled with the figures. I think I heard myself described as a member of the Labour Party by Alasdair Allan, which nearly had me falling off my chair, but perhaps he was referring to someone else, and the moment passed without clarification.

End result: score draw, but I wish I was here for the Unison hustings on Tuesday night.

Voting

Council elections - Angus Campbell got my first vote, for the dedication, time and effort he has put in to delivering the best to the Western Isles. He has quickly become an elder statesman of the Comhairle, and has a huge degree of respect from his colleagues.

List - I was going to vote SNP, but the current crude attempts to gag me (and the persistent attempts by senior members of the local party to smear me) have persuaded me not to support any SNP candidates.

Having reviewed all the manifestos, I've decided to vote Green as they support independence and have sensible joined-up policies on the environment and renewables.

I hope that they are successful both locally and nationally, as it is vital that their input into the Climate Change debate is heard.

Constituency - I knew that I wasn't voting SNP for their lack of a sensible policy on renewable energy and their willingness to give away our potential to develop offshore wave and wind without asking anything in return. However, the following quote for Alex Salmond gave me pause for thought:

"The construction of a series of tidal, wave and wind energy projects which, we believe, will put the Western Isles in the forefront of European efforts to develop renewable energy resources of the kind we have in more abundance here than in practically any other region on earth."

Excellent idea, allied to a clear commitment. Pity that was what he said on 3 March 1992. Compare that to the current manifesto:

"In government the SNP will make the creation of an EU wide green energy research centre a focus of our external affairs efforts in the EU. The centre, which we propose should be based in Aberdeen, would allow us to build on decades of offshore energy expertise and the proximity to some of the world’s most promising renewable energy locations - from Peterhead and the North Sea for carbon capture and storage to the Pentland Firth, described as the Saudi Arabia of tidal power."

There you have it: the past 15 years of Tory and Labour Governments have systematically deprived us of the best conditions to develop offshore power. Alternatively, the vehement opposition of (some of) the local SNP to on-shore wind power has lead to us losing the opportunities for wave and tidal. Exactly, what I feared would happen.

Compare another promise from 1992: "We will be introducing Road Equivalent Tarriffs on island ferries..." with the manifesto "... we will undertake a pilot project on RET to the Western Isles ..." Anyone who deals with the public sector in any context will recognise the wriggle room in the latter promise. 'Pilot projects' have a limited lifespan, and with no promise of early introduction (merely an early study!) this has been kicked into the long grass until just before the next election.

For the first time ever, my vote has gone elsewhere, to someone who lives in the islands and mentions the need for economic development of the Western Isles in their election materials.

Gagging - again

Further to my previous post, about being gagged by the SNP on Isles FM, I thought the matter was closed.

Not so. Yesterday the format was changed to three pundits to give more varied "comment" on the events of the week. Last night the Chair of the Western Isles SNP phoned the host of the show to complain about the third guest, my old friend and colleague former Councillor Angus Graham, who was "unacceptable" to the local SNP. As it turned out Angus Graham was not invited onto the show, but nevertheless the SNP obviously have a list of which commentators are "fair" and which are "unfair" i.e. those who will parrot the SNP line and those who will not.

Today, they have launched a concerted campaign to have me removed from tonight's programme on the grounds that I might say something they don't like.

I gave the benefit of the doubt last time, but this is definitely too far and too much. Just who is approving this censorship, and why is free speech under threat in the Western Isles?

Am I on the programme tonight? Wait and see on 103.0FM!

Being gagged

I pulled this post as it appeared that the information communicated to me was incorrect. I then made some comments based on a misunderstanding, but I'm not too big to correct it. The threat of legal action was based on a confusion between comments made yesterday and last Friday, but the substance of the comments was as I indicated in the original post.

The programme was pulled due to the nature of the mostly anonymous calls being received by the volunteers at Isles FM. The Managing Director of Isles FM, Ann Moqbel, said, "Isles FM is a community station which wants to reflect all points of view and be a vehicle for that. There were many calls to the station which were aggressive and nasty to our volunteers. Some were anonymous. I will not have our volunteers intimidated in that way. We hope to have the pundits back on Friday."

It is clear that someone somewhere is running a nasty political operation. Whether it is the SNP or Labour pretending to be SNP supporters to discredit them, I don't know, but it is certainly very aggressive. There is a decidedly nasty streak running through some of the postings on some local internet forums (fora?) which seems to be more interested in gagging those with certain views, rather than debating points.

I have let virtually every posting onto this blog (one was cut to the an inappropriate link), insulting or otherwise, and I will continue in the same vein.

Gagging dissidents is never a good idea. It is better to defeat their arguments. That is democracy.


The original posting from last night is below:
I was supposed to being on Isles FM tonight as a "pundit" discussing the election campaigns. Because I was not standing again, I am totally free to speak without any right of reply, as is my colleague Callum Ian MacMillan - the former Labour Group Leader on the Comhairle.

About two hours before the programme was to go on air, I discovered that the SNP had threatened to take out an injunction to prevent the programme taking place on the grounds of "bias". Now this is true, really true, but apparently I was unacceptable, the journalist who was chairing the programme was unacceptable, but the former Labour Group Leader was acceptable. Yes, read that again. And again!

Sorry, but the brave new Scotland does not need censorship, a restriction on the right of free speech, or commentators who are obliged to toe a particular line.

Is this what the SNP represents? If so, count me out. I've publicly advocated voting SNP on the list (but not the constituency) for well known reasons. This behaviour crosses the boundary between democracy and dictatorship as far as I am concerned, and I hope it is totally, completely, and utterly withdrawn immediately or I will not be able to tell anyone to vote SNP anywhere.

Isles FM

I was invited on the "pundit" slot tonight to replace Alasdair Nicholson, whose family had suffered an unfortunate bereavement.

It was an interesting knock-about evening with my old adversary and friend and neighbour, Callum Iain MacMillan.

The funniest part was after the programme when we saw the "complaints" file. "Unbalanced", "unfair" "why didn't you have xxx on?" were some of the comments. Somewhat hysterically, the comments came from a husband and wife of a certain political persuasion (and very close to a certain candidate), and to try and disguise the connection he had given his mobile (which we recognised) and she had given the house number (which we also recognised). If you are going to stand for Council and be successful, you need to be smarter than that.