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The truths they don't want you to read....

Monday, January 05, 2009

Computer training

I have been passed a copy of the top secret, highly confidential, computer skills training which is to be delivered to Councillors* during 2009.

* Feel free to substitute "Inland Revenue" or any other Government body.

Thanks to Anon and Boing Boing.


Anonymous said...

i'm getting a "Done but with errors" message at the bottom of the page in that kind of direction/

Anonymous said...

Well done with the book, this was the bible when I worked for an International Computer company on extended Government IT projects.

Just a few points I remember.

Remember the RAM (Random Access Memory). This special part of the computer generates random thoughts. It lives between the Central Processing Unit and the Global Banking System.
The RAM recommends to the Government Agency (who pay over the odds for the computer in the first place) the best bank to find "Too good to be true" investments.
You know the investments capable of losing the most public money with no questions asked.

Any one can do it with the right computer at hand, even today, if you want to lose money like the Government Agencies and make unbelievable investments just add more RAM to your computer. The more RAM the riskier the investment.

Memory sticks, in the old days these were used by Public Servants to keep track of their holidays and sick days, they would carve notches in the sides with a hard disc to keep count and make sure they used their full entitlement.

Now Memory sticks (USB) can contain the whole HMRC public database for example and are easier to lose, as are CDs. Oops!

In the old days (1979) the data could still be lost but it was much harder as the memory sticks were write once only and no one wanted to lose their holiday anyway. Instead they used the Eight Inch Floppy disc, do you remember these?
Even with the Floppy the data was more secure as 7,813 Floppies were needed to match a 1 Gigabyte stick of today.
Therefore they had to be really careless to leave a Transit van full of Floppies lying around.

Keep your data secure.

Anonymous said...

Angus, I have looked over this posting a few times and only read it properly this morning while looking for a quick fix for my Apple Mac.

I was very dismayed to see that you did not include the instructions on data recovery which I was specifically needing.

One small point needing clarification though, there is no credit for the chap that invented the damned thing. I have had a look at my notes and there is some confusion whether it was a Mr Knox, Blair, or Olmert. I also seem to have a very large and dark asterix against a certain Fr Mishe.

Perhaps you would be so good as to enlighten us and clear up once and for all who was / is responsible for data control and suppression.

The answer may probably be in the book index under the heading 'Control of worker bees and drones'

Anonymous said...

are you sure this isn't too complicated for them? :-D

Anonymous said...

love this Angus, sorry my response is slow - but i could swear i'd seen the exact same book when i was a youngster - didn't realise this had different wording till i was alerted by the comment on BOING BOING! Very funny (LS) Obviously 5:23 didn't read it carefully either!