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The truths they don't want you to read....

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Shock at love rats on ultra-religious islands

Dear God!
Thanks and (c) The Sun

Just how many people can this offend?


Anonymous said...

Is that young Hearach (known to all on the Golden road as tarbh a'bhaile) actually wearing pants made from guga feathers? Brian Wilson and the Harris tweed crew had better be defending the catwalks in New York

BP Man said...

All OK but as experience has shown get caught cheating and you end up with 2 black eyes

Anonymous said...

Me for a start, as it's an awful combination of font and font size. Helvetica 24 or 28 would have looked more aesthetically pleasing.

Anonymous said...

Good advert for them. You can only imagne their membership on the Hebs will now boom!

Anonymous said...

Anon 10.23

Yes,I seen him myself, on his red massey ferguson heading for the bins round the back of Charley Barleys experimental guga marag plant.

Anonymous said...

Anon 11.52

If you had been a bit more steady on your feet you might have noticed that it was actually a bad spray job on a Dexta, could you not tell the difference by the note of the exhaust?

He is definitely a Hearach though, I could tell that myself from the way he sat so comfortably while the tractor was weaving all over the place. You would think that his mother would have something to say about his going up to Stornoway, him in his feathery underwear.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that's not one of our councillors, asleep on the job...again!

Anonymous said...

i was gonna write "me, for one" but thank you 8:15 for helping me regain my sense of humour!

Anonymous said...

having seen the Sun site now, it would worry me - except for the fact that we don't know whether these are people looking for extra marital affairs - or worried hubbies/wives checking whether or not their wife/hubby is cheating (a very dangerous way to check up it will lead to one of three things 1)you find that the spouse is having an affair - what do you do with this info and explain how you got it 2) your spouse finds your computer and finds out what your doing only s/he becomes certain in his/her mind that you are leaving him/her or 3) you never find anything but younever are quite sure whether they are or not) - probably this article will only increase their certainty that their wife/hubby is up to something!

outraged-in-asgerd said...

Yes, yes.

In fact you can search the details (including the names of the darwinianly indiscreet) without registering. I did, the other day, for nosiness, and:

All men in the Western Isles, aged between 21 and 80: 45.

All women: 10.

So unless there’s a big hidden premium section, not 500 after all. A few are bored Stornoway coves but a random dip showed many to be in places like Brecon, Western Isles or Irvine, Western Isles (W for Wales/West of Scotland on the dropdown?) and many to be single, separated or divorced.

So not 500 but 55, a percentage of them not actually here, far fewer women than men, and really not many married ones. Honest mistake, or let’s pick the remotest place we can and cook up a story to get our shabby little business in the headlines, while slipping in that women register for free and are plentiful? (It seems Illicit Encounters also ran a story six months ago about lawyers and accountants signing up in their multitudes, perhaps needing comfort in these troubled times.)

Dr Evadne said...

Does anyone know where one can purchase the bra and knickers set as modelled by the blone in the picture?

Anonymous said...

Its OK:
1.She's not really enjoying it
2.Its not on a Sunday
3.They didnt come on the Sunday ferry
( re-No. 3, yes I know..)

Anonymous said...

Dr Evadne;

Carnan Stores down in Uist are well used to catering for needs of the good women of Iochdar in the lingeery department, just ask for Ian Ruagh and he'll fit you up nicely.

As an alternative try the hardware shop in Tarbert, the name escapes me at the moment but a quick glance at their window display should show several assorted sizes of wellingtons hanging on a string. Clothing for the nether regions tends to be kept under the counter to avoid exciting the Hearachs unduly.

Anonymous said...

Dr Evadne
If you don't know the answer then you shouldn't be asking.

Anonymous said...

12:52 If its the hearach I know, he will be scared over the fact that his mother will be more upset at the thought of her boy working or travelling on a Sunday, than who he was on the job with.

Anonymous said...

The crofters have them in a variety of colours, sizes and cuts, for men and women.

32A and thong cut in bright red, up to 52G and sack-sized coverall drawers in grey for Church Elders.

Alasdair Allan bought two pairs of the lacy brown set (with suspenders) in androgynous sizing.

Flirty Gertie said...

Never mind the love rats - the islands are supposed to have the highest percentage of single men in the UK. So where are these single coves? Hanging out in the stylish bars of central Stornoway, joining Cordon Bleu cooking classes at the College or sipping lattes in An Lanntair?

Are they f***. They're getting bladdered in their cousin's fank in Carloway; stripping down the engine of that unused quad bike on their auntie's croft in Ness or on a plane flying to some Godforsaken country to man the drilling rigs for six months with nothing but a copy of Nuts and a tin of Vaseline.

And they wonder why they're still single???

Anonymous said...


Where abouts is Androgeny? Is it a possible alternative to Spain for a short winter break?

Do the good folk of this place need a visa to come to the Hebrides as I'm sure I spotted a couple of them last night in the narrows.

I'm also afraid that your knowledge of the latest fashions far outstrips mine. What is this newfangled thong thing, and why does it not appear to be suitable for an elder?

Whatever happened to sturdy y-fronts.

Dr Evadne said...

Thanks for all the advice. Have just got home from the queue to get into M&S at the Caber. I have decided to get the lingerie custom built (onshore) in a size and shape to fit my elphin figure. The nearest I could find here (at Gordon Diesel) was made out of combed cotton, one size fits all....assuming that all were a size 22.

Anonymous said...

After some considerable study of the young blone, I'm afraid that the only remedy for her apparent undernourishment is for me to write out a new prescription for her.

A course of Charley Barleys original marag on awakening from her slumbers, and a similar dose of six slices before she retires at night should get her back up to a healthy 15 stone.

Where that might equate with Dr Evadne and his measurements will have to be left to the boys at the crofters. I am assured, however, that there would be at least one earnest volunteer to take her peronal measurements.