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The truths they don't want you to read....

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Over-55s 'causing holiday havoc'

Now the State is nannying the Old Age Pensioners, in perhaps one of the most bizarre exercises in information gathering and dissemination that I have seen in quite some time. And that is saying something.

In perhaps one of the grossest overstatements possible, an alleged Foreign Office Minister - allegedly called Meg Munn - but who I suspect is a composite name for the Press Office, declaimed....

Older British holidaymakers are causing the sort of trouble normally associated with the younger generation.

Setting aside the kind of arse-flashing, all-night partying, drinking and fighting culture that is all too prevalent in Falaraki-by-the-Sea, I assume Meg is referring to an unexpected spate of bed-hopping, drug-taking and drunken hair-braiding between games of bridge, which has become such a feature of a over 50's holiday in Maderia.

According to detailed research, an arduous task undertaken by some gap year student in the sun,

more than half of older holidaymakers drink more alcohol abroad than they would in the UK.

And the other half were too drunk to answer such a stupid question.

However, the truth of the problem was put into perspective by the Vice-Consul in Rhodes (presumable in charge of all the elderly vice going on)

"Most problems we see with the older generation of Brits arise from over-consumption of alcohol and food."

So, don't worry about being stabbed with a knitting needle by some toothless pensioner when your drug deal goes wrong, or in a fight in the queue for the hang-glider; it looks like the bad behaviour is restricted to long liquid lunches.


Anonymous said...

Presumably they were more than sober when they found this one to hit yet another Council plan for 6

Lochs parents tackle council over school closure rule 19/3/08

Western Isles Council was apparently unaware of a crunch government rule which could stall its plans to shut a Lewis school.

Parents fighting to save Sgoil nan Loch surprised education officials by unrevealing the apparently unknown clause at a consultation meeting late on Tuesday night.

They warned that the Scottish Government has to ratify closures if schools are at 80% capacity.

Lochs parents say that its secondary school is full and that the council must receive clearance from the government.

Though the council later conceded that the rule exists it disputes that it applies to the Lochs school.

The island’s education vice-chair Catriona Stewart said: "The issue will be cleared up in responses which go to the committee on 15th April."

Lochs parents fear children would be moved from a modern relatively new school to cramped, overcrowded classes in Stornoway in aging buildings which urgently require replacement.

Many are worried that young children are allowed to wander around the town centre at lunchtimes without adult supervision

The council stresses that closure reasons included the difficulties in delivering a changing curriculum, less government funding, falling pupil numbers and the subsequent fall in finance from Edinburgh.

It claims that the two-year rural schools which are unique in Scotland are not compatible with the changing curriculum.

Anonymous said...

‘Many are worried that young children are allowed to wander around the town centre at lunchtimes without adult supervision’.

Couldn’t agree more! The thought of busloads of mal-nourished, thieving maws descending on the town must be a great worry for the local shopkeepers. Perhaps some kind of cage might be a solution. This could be located on top of an existing building to avoid frightening the teeming hoards of free spending tourists. It should also allay any concerns that the aforementioned maws would be relieved of their dinner money by unscrupulous drug dealers selling them bags of parsley.