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The truths they don't want you to read....

Sunday, March 02, 2008

A serious debate about wolves

Wolves - coming soon to a street near you.The Wolves and Humans Foundation (formerly the Wolf Society) has called for a serious debate about the possibility of reintroducing wolves into North Scotland citing the vast amount earned by Yellowstone National Park.

Admittedly, "There have been problems, such as what to do when they stray outside the boundaries, but a key issue is the $3m a year it gets from people coming to see the wolves," they said.

As far as I am concerned, nothing should distract from the pursuit of the tourist dollar, Euro, Rouble or Albanian Lek.

Those who are concerned about such trivial matters such as attacks on humans and the slaughter of livestock are clearly unable to see the wood for the trees. Such purblindness would be a bit of a problem if you had a ravenous wolf pack on your tail. It is clear to me and the proposers of this idea that the opportunities here are enormous and must be embraced to show just what a magnificent hunting and killing machine the wolf actually is.

As the Wolves and Humans website clearly states, Join us today, and help to meet the challenge of conservation and co-existence. As the only charity in the UK dedicated to helping wolves in the wild - I know, you thought there were bloody dozens of them competing for your donations - W&H have decided to meet the challenge of co-existence with wolves in the wild by moving their operational HQ from Somerset to the proposed site for wild wolves, where the members will meet the challenge of co-existence by walking to and from meetings in the pitch dark as the packs circle them.

But, after careful consideration, I think that W&H have shown just what could be achieved for the tourist industry in the Western Isles.

Let's declare the entire island a 'wild zone' and bring tiger, lions, wolves, T Rex, elephants, coyotes and other assorted animals here and let them run wild, slaughtering sheep, deer, mink, seagulls and those cutting peat whilst rich hunters are helicoptered in to stay in expensive private hotels guarded by 20ft of razor wire and big guys with automatic rifles.

They can peg out pupils in the rural primary schools to attract the predators - which would guarantee the survival of the schools, if not all the pupils - and then secure the local economy by paying for each animal they kill. Just imagine being able to pander to each and every whim of these ultra-rich elite before they pay us just a few pounds for driving the Wolves and Human Foundation to their AGM in the main killing zone.

Ever seen the movie "The Running Man"? We could ensure the financial security of an extended family on the islands by dropping the lucky winner on the top of the Clisham at sunset, armed only with a peat-iron, and have a live broadcast as they try to survive and make their way back to the Clachan Bar by opening time.

Imagine the ratings if a Councillor was drawn from the lottery......

Having had a serious debate about the idea, I think that the relentless pursuit of the tourism industry without any consideration of reality, might just be a bad idea. In this and other cases.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Give Messrs Currie and Mason an hours head start, and sell the tv rights to Sky TV. Quids in, and there's the "Plan B" the Comhairle was looking for. Everyone's a winner!

Anonymous said...

Think you'll find they are already on Lewis, just outside Stornoway.

Anonymous said...

Angus - have you been on the buckie again?

Anonymous said...

There have been no recorded attacks on humans by wolves. This is typical (perhaps well intentioned) hysteria by the uninformed. As so many people on the islands want to keep the islands the way they were, why not reintroduce wolves to the islands? {:-)

alright nooowwwwww said...

hebridean wolfdogs = impressive shite
forgot to put themselves in the hall of shame

eyoop said...

What about introducing wolves to Barvas moor?

Then ample justification could at last be given by the Comhairle for the LWP windfactory, as anyone adventurous enough to get out of the car and walk in the "nothing out there" landscape so despised of certain councillors, would be dealt with in short measure by the hungry pack. Tourist numbers would also be kept down under this initiative, again justifying councillors' insistence that tourism is financially a drop in the ocean compared to the undreamed of wealth we are all about to enjoy from "the windfarm".

Wolves would also be handy for tidying up bird kills under turbines and helping to keep the statistics "neat".

Dammit, I should be charging CNES a consultation fee for all this advice.

Anonymous said...

There have been no recorded attacks on humans by wolves.

It is true that no-one who has been killed by a pack of wolves has ever reported their death to the authorities.

I wonder why.

Anonymous said...

Facts about wolves killing humans.

Anonymous said...

i am really suprised no teachers have written begging to be allowed to choose the aforementioned children

Anonymous said...

can i choose the councillor...

Anonymous said...

Never mind the kids, what have they done to deserve it? Feed the environ-mentalists to them first. A few less around the begging bowl will mean more for the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

Here's a real live encounter with a wolf and a gaelic speaker in Alaska. Romeo was the creature's name and he was kind of lonely so he started following the activities of the humans and their pets on the ice. Chuc said in a lecture he gave at Bun Sgoil Inbhir Nis that some weirdos actually hoped that Romeo would have sex with their animals, thus producing interesting offspring.
on the ice

Anonymous said...

Aren't you aware the contribution made to the Western Isles' economy by tourism? Like the suggestion made by anon 4.41pm (1st comment). However, I don't think it's very realistic to reintroduce wolves. Bit of a howler.

Anonymous said...

Anyone see Film4 last night. Local Hero.

I was on the brink of tears. Bet our 'local hero' aka AA was in tears at the love he exudes to MWT.

Maybe we should have a lions den. I know who I'd put in there first.

Anonymous said...

http://hebridesnews.blogspot.com/

I see you have some news related blog competition Angus.

eyoop said...

From the Internet Movie Database

Local Hero:

"An American oil company sends a man to Scotland to buy up an entire village where they want to build a refinery. But things don't go as expected."


Updated to 2008:

"An engineering, nuclear and "renewables" multinational sends a posse to Scotland to buy off an entire island where they want to build an industrial wind complex. But things don't go as expected."

Anonymous said...

Cover our MSP in bacon fat and let him loose - I'll pay for it, just do it now please.

Anonymous said...

alright nooowwwwww, hebridean wolfdogs.com was an excellent site (as it will be when they are operational again) shame you never left your real details up. I know a couple of houds that would like to 'meat' a man like you. ;D