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The truths they don't want you to read....

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

The Independence Devolution referendum

The new Culture Minister, Fiona Hyslop, threw the following document out of her pram this morning, before being relieved of the Constitutional remit:


After due consultation and debate over the next year, the following are the questions that will appear on the referendum ballot paper.

Complete this ballot paper by ticking only one box, preferably the first. We know where you live.

In order to make Scotland a land of Milk and Honey and not sponged off by the English, where the sun shines constantly and we all live happily and don't need to work, I want the Government in Scotland to be based on:
  • Independence tick here ->
  • Devolution max
  • Devolution medium
  • Devolution mini
  • Devolution micro
  • Devolution maestro
  • Calman
  • Calmac
  • Calmax
  • Calculus
  • Cactus
  • Status Quo
  • Rolling Stones
  • That Robbie Shephard always plays nice tunes
  • Chan eil fhios agam
This ballot paper is available in Urdu, Hindi, Chinese, Polish, Zulu, Lallans, Braille, punch tape, machine code, Martian, Walloon, Pictish, talking dog for the deaf, Venezuelan, as an audio book for the illiterate, Pictish braille, hieroglyphs, ancient Incan, Elvish and Aberdonian.

If you would like a pre-completed form in this or any other language, please contact the independent organisers at SNP HQ.


    AA (not Alcoholics Anonymous) said...

    I demand that this document is available in Gaelic. Monsieur Salmond would never have forgotten the natural language of the Scots.

    Anonymous said...

    What about Norn? Just becaused people have stopped speaking it; doesnot mean that an ancient languauge should be discriminated against! Join the SNOT (Speak Norn not Other Tongues)campaign!

    Anonymous said...

    And what about Norwegian?

    After all the money that WIE has spent in bringing Norwegian business to the Hebrides, coupled with their strenuous efforts at eradicating locals.

    Surely there must be some sort of official recognition?

    Lets not forget that if the situation were reversed there would be a minister for gaelic now firmly in place in Trondheim, warmly welcoming any Hebrideans wanting to establish businesses in Norway.