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The truths they don't want you to read....

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

To infinity and beyond....

So the removal of Leodhas the sniffer dog is going to be the subject of public riots and stiff letters to the Gazette, at least according to the spoof press release from our MP.

It is a spoof isn't it????

As Buzz Lightyear MP says,
I have stressed the importance of the sniffer dog as a deterrent to drug smuggling to the islands given that we in the main have finite points of entry.
This presumably dictated, proofed and edited public statement implies that we infrequently have infinite points of entry, which will surely provide opportunities for encouraging mass tourism from parallel dimensions as well as from continental Europe.

Perhaps the Callanish Stone circle is our very own Stargate ,which we haven't worked out how to open yet.

I understand that the Council are already planning to buy all the infinite entry points to be funded from an infinite increase in home help charges on all the infinite number of new pensioners who will retire here from anywhere/anytime else....

(Roxy, the previous incumbent non-sniffing dog was somewhat less successful)

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I will feel some sadness at the loss for sentimental reasons. Sniffer dogs are one of the few honourable souls left in a dismal world of crooks, charlatans and something else beginning with c which is very un-pc. But seriously, anything that helps hinder the tidal wave of substance abuse should be cherished.

We are unrealistic if we expect that we can turn the clocks back and make everyone straight, but damage limitation is not to be sniffed at (was that a pun?). If this island becomes a major conduit for trafficking to the mainland then our children are in dire jeopardy.

Anonymous said...

Clearly the dog hasn't been trained yet to sniff out incompetent politicians.

Otherwise, AB would be caught out every time.

Anonymous said...

Here in Ness we have constant problems with Aztecs carrying bags of coke and cocoa beans materialising in downtown Europie, and trying to build stepped pyramids.

We send them to Bragar where they fit right in. There is now a small community of them breeding Jaguars and ripping the beating hearts out of lost tourists.

Anonymous said...

I think AB has another toblerone stuck in his snout.

Anonymous said...

As our MP said before. This will not wash. effing T**T that he is.

Anonymous said...

01:14 Must be having a joke. "We are unrealistic if we expect that we can turn the clocks back and make everyone straight" Humankind has never been straight (since we got klicked out of the Garden of Eden {if you believe that}).
The islands wouldn't become a major conduit for inward bound drugs because it has, in the main, a finite number of access and egress points {:-). A bunch of Columbians would be noticed (even in the metropolis of stornoway).

Drugs will be imported here because of the demand for them but not as a major smuggling point.

Anonymous said...

9.14 Are you for a free market in crack?

Anonymous said...

Why all the hysteria over drugs? Last time I looked it was quite alright for drunk teenagers to be staggering and puking all around town. The cops didn't seem to mind at all. They were walking about quite casually as if on an evening stroll. Maybe they were saving resources for the real mayhem at chucking out time.

Is underage drinking not against the law anymore? Or have we given up and accept it as a fact of life. Alcohol is by far the greater danger to our society and we should all recognise it as such. Or if again you don't care Vote Labour Vote Alcopops.

Anonymous said...

9:43 No I'm not. What I'm saying is that the WI would not become an entreport for drugs to the UK because acees is in the main restricted. It is the same logic as to why we do not have a large box boat terminal here. The safe and efficient distribution of drugs relies on mules and a good transport system. Here is a bottleneck as far as the dealers and importers are concerned. Simples

Anonymous said...

What subject did Macneil teach? Can't have been science or English!

Anonymous said...

Re - 10.23

It's terrible the way some people are trying to make political capitol(???) out of the MP's level of literacy.

Hairy McLairy said...

Ever-quick to sense a business opportunity, I'd like to point out that my B&B offers ensuite rooms and fresh ground coffee in all parallel dimensions.

Our newly-installed Infinite Improbability Drive has recently opened portals close to the Callanish and will send you home with an authentic replica of the Standing Stones, Charley Barley's marag and a jar of potted guga before you've even left. Just leave the skunkweed at home, man.