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The truths they don't want you to read....

Friday, February 10, 2012

Romantic Break for Three

I'm told that there is a B&B in Uig that has decided not to get involved in this promotion.
Have we lost our minds? It’s B&B for Three! Yes, you and you and even you at the romantic Windermere Suites in the Lake District.
What we are saying is your fine self and two other companions would be sharing one room. The three of you. At once.

Do I have to draw you a diagram? I think you know where we are coming from. This is possibly the first time in the British Isles that this kind of behaviour has been actively encouraged.
Just imagine the tourism opportunities in the Western Isles - bed-night rates would increase by 50%, and we wouldn't need that pesky RET on luxuries like food.

I think the Lews Castle Hotel could be redesigned around this concept, and the prices raised accordingly.

Council Economic Development Department - it's over to you.

h/t to J


Anonymous said...

There are some serious plus points to this.

Actually this would be a good way of stimulating (no sniggering at the back) the local economy. 50% more people on each excursion would mean 50% more people eating in Stornoway restaurants, drinking in open-minded Stornoway pubs (where do the swingers go?), buying from Stornoway shops, and so forth.

Also, for people living here or moving here, a menage-a-trois can make a property more affordable if there are three paying the mortgage, rather than two.

So, yes, Kudos to any accommodation owner in the Western Isles who runs with this.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Looking at the hotel FAQ:

What combinations of human people are allowed?

Any you wish. We won't judge. Three blokes. Three birds. A bird plus a bloke and a bird. All and any and all are acceptable.

That sounds pretty much like the results of the last census from Tong, our very own "rainbow village".

Anonymous said...

50% more council tax for three adults living together rather than two ... unlikely to have kids so no school burden ... probably fit people who erm exercise a lot so no burden on local medical or care services ... yes, this is the perfect demographic for the Western Isles economically. Get more threesomes here!

Anonymous said...

In a nearby manse, an elder of the Continuing Reformed Reheated Free Church reads the post, and quietly weeps.

Anonymous said...

But what combinations of "three in a bed" would happen if the offer was repeated in a Stornoway hotel? 2 SNP and 1 Labour councillor? 3 SNP councillors? 1 SNP, 1 Labour and 1 independent? 3 Labour councillors?

Actually getting silly now. You can't find 3 Labour councillors in these isles, to share a bed or not. Having said that, and for political equality, if RET goes you won't be able to find 3 SNP councillors to share a bed, either.

Anonymous said...

2:37 I suspect that that Continuing Free Spaghetti Monster Church, or whatever the newest splinter group is called in Lewis this week, would be more "outraged" that the hotel offer extends to three people sharing a bed ... on the Sabbath.

Anonymous said...

This is disgraceful. Four hundred pounds for a room for the night and three fry-ups the next day? That is just robbery. In my day, you could go with Morag behind the old bus shelter in Balivanich and she'd only charge you a packet of woodbines.

Four hundred pounds to get your end away! So much for these "austerity" times. It's disgusting how people throw their money around now.

Anonymous said...

Anon 2:49 - Look it's obvious:

One drunk MP and two drunk teenagers.

Anonymous said...

Well, if local gossip is anything to go by, then the three councillors from [redacted] will be the first to "enjoy" that particular offer. What's the Gaelic for "Which council expense heading can we put 'lube' under?"

Dr Evadne said...

I think you have found the right level here Angus. And no one has mentioned sheep...yet.

Anonymous said...

Quick - further business opportunities in the offing. Bound to be a big demand for super-kingsize beds in Stornoway now.

Anonymous said...

Thank you. After a stressful week, your comment made me laugh heartily.

What was the excuse for the alleged Ménage à Trois again?

Something along the father ted line "that money was just resting in my account!!"

Anonymous said...

But I hear that there are coat hangers in the room at no charge so maybe that wouldn't appeal. One likes to keep one's jacket on

Anonymous said...

A good few comments in before it devolved (no pun intended) into the usual SNP vs Labour online fistiecuffs. Is there any topic in the Outer Hebrides which doesn't end up that way?

Anonymous said...

We must never let this happen here. It could lead to dancing.