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The truths they don't want you to read....

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Farewell Peter Hain

Peter Hain
Peter Hain addresses the Commons
The Minister for day-glo skin and tanning booths has resigned to "spend more time with his ultraviolet radiation source".

Confounding all expectations of maintaining a stiff upper lip and claiming that he was "too busy" with "important things" to know what is going on.

The mere £10,000,000 donated to his campaign to become emperor of the world was an oversight for which he "has taken full responsibility". That is responsibility for blaming his assistants for no covering up properly.

The resignation is entirely voluntary, and bears absolutely no relation to the fact that the matter has been referred to Inspector Knacker of the Yard for further investigations.

Mr Hain has been roundly condemned by his colleagues for flaunting the convention that MPs are innocent until proven guilty. And it is really, really embarrassing. And their local party disown them. And their fingers are prized off the expenses forms. And when they have another job to go to.

The Tories have put down a motion condemning the resignation, as it "Stops us being able to embarrass the Prime Minister who is sitting next to this sleaze bag, and means that we might have to find something new to say."

Peter Hain's skin-tone is illegal under the Geneva Convention.


Anonymous said...

Hain's resignation is a reminder that there is an ongoing police investigation into the Labour Party's use of proxy donations and Electoral Commission enquiries into Bendy Wendy for taking a foreign donation and Harriet Harman for taking a proxy donation.

Come on Wendy - your times up!

Anonymous said...

Anyone recognise?

Is it a number of an address and the cost of it's sale or purchase?

Anonymous said...

Anon:1.31 PM
You must not forget Amazing Alex Trump Millions. I wonder who will be funding the SNP's next election. Could it be Trump Towers.

Anonymous said...

So farewell Hain, I guess the Old Bill will be knocking at your door once again. Those of you who are old enough to remember will recall his early days as a Liberal Party activist, around the time Thorpe was leader, until he jumped ship, via a shoplifting charge ( not guilty) to the Labour camp. I guess his climb up the greasy pole is now at an end, question is will he now revert to his true colour, or can he still afford the toasting sessions?

Anonymous said...

Orange glow on the horizon tonight, must have been tango-tan leaving town. Time for a glass of Victory gin to see off a good comrade?
The £100,000 in his pocket would have kept a few post offices open!

Anonymous said...

Given some of the recent cases the Labour Party have had to endure:

- Wendy Alexander's campaign funding,
- Peter Hain's undisclosed donations,
- Harriet Harman's proxy donations,
- the 'secret loans' ahead of the 2006 general election,
- cash for honours ,
- Tony Blair intervening to assist prominent donor Laskshmi Mittal,
- the exemption for F1 from alcohol sponsoring regulations and Bernie Eccleston's donations,

you'd think they'd have it as their top priority. After all, it was the current Labour government who brought in many of the rules which they've fallen foul of.

Surely there's a need for a simple guide explaining which donations are legal and which are not. With an independent arbiter to determine whether 'unusual' donations are legal.

Anonymous said...

Wendy and/or her cronies are definately going to be next to go. She originally admitted to breaking the law and so is in a very similar position to Hain but she changed her story and said she did not knowingly break the law as she had accepted assurances from her campaign that the donation was permissible. If the Electoral Commission accepts her version of events then she will not face a police investigation though others might and the Commission's verdict is expected next week. Bring it on!

Anonymous said...

Yes!!! Alan Johnson's been at it too!!. It just gets better and better! Come on Wendy - what are you waiting on! RESIGN!

Anonymous said...

Yahoo!! One step closer to Wendy's departure as she's been reported to the fiscal. And poor Andy Gray -next in line as Labour leader has been reported too - for failing to declare hospitality from Macdonalds! God, the humiliation of being in opposition must be unbearable when they stoop this low.

Wanted:- Leader of London/Scottish Labour - as usual no experience or sense required.....

Anonymous said...

....sorry, I meant Andy Kerr not Andy easy mistake you'll agree!