Idiot

In an incredible act of pomposity, Jeremy Paxman has written to Marks and Spencer about a matter of global importance ....

"There's no other way to put this. Their pants no longer provide adequate support. The other thing is socks. Even among those of us who clip our toenails very rigorously, they appear to be wearing out much more quickly on the big toe."

What? Go somewhere else you silly twat. The streets are filled with things called shops.

"But I do feel that someone should take up this mighty battle. I was astonished, when I raised it with people, that they all said the same thing. It has been the subject of widespread consultation, from my gym to the Houses of Parliament."

What the....? Have they nothing better to do in the Houses of Parliament than discuss M&S socks?

What is the main topic of discussion amongst our elected parliamentarians? Global recession? Nuclear weapons in Pakistan? Governmental lies? Or whether Jeremy's knackers are held up by his pants?

He and Sir Stuart Rose would meet...

Please, please, rescue me from those with more time than common sense....